I am thankful for…

While it’s true that Thanksgiving is about overindulging in food, it’s also about, well, being thankful.  So, here’s a list of a few things I’m thankful for, in no particular order. 

1. Hearing a sweet little voice say, “I wuv you mommy” everyday.
2. The privilege of being a mother, a sister, a daughter, a best friend.
3. Inside jokes with my sister.
4. The fact that tomorrow I’ll get the chance to spend time with my daughter, my mom and my grandma.
5. My furry buddy, Hank, who faithfully curls up next to me at night and keeps my secrets.
6. My ever-growing family, including my newest brother-in-law.
7. Soul sistas.
8. Kit Kats.
9. Holding hands with my daughter as we walk together.
10. Friends that I can count on for a last-minute lunch, a heart-to-heart talk, a knowing glance or a funny tweet.
11. The fact that I love to read…and that I know how to read.
12. Having met Sophia’s birthmother in person.
13. Health insurance.
14. Not being afraid to cry.
15. Wireless, high-speed internet.
16. That I have a lot of opportunities and potential.
17. That my daughter has a lot of opportunities and potential.
18. The fact that I laugh a lot…including at myself.
19. My home, my haven.
20. Being an aunt.
21. Vietnamese egg rolls.
22. The time I’ve had with my grandparents.
23. The fact that I’m no longer in high school.
24. The fact that people trust me.
25. Those moments when someone says, “Sophia is just like you.”

I could go on and on.  The point, I think, is that it’s too easy to get caught up in the daily grind, in the quest to keep up with the Joneses, in petty disagreements, in trivial minutiae.  Far too easy.   There’s much to be thankful for.   So very much to be thankful for.

Two of my biggest blessings:

Whatever you do tomorrow, do this:  Be thankful and rejoice in  your blessings!

A night in pictures

Wasting wipes on her doll.  We are majorly obsessed with the doll that goes potty.  We are also doing really great at going potty on the potty, which I don’t think is a coincidence.

I broke down and got out the Christmas totes. What can I say, I was in the mood?  Sophia loved looking through things.  We’re saving the actual decorating for after Thanksgiving, but tonight we dug out her Christmas books (which I’d wisely put away), played with a Christmas music box that my mom had given me years ago and filled a basket with ornaments (below).

 

Free hair requires a different kind of sleep cap…a much bigger sleep cap.

 

Getting ready to read one of our favorite books before bedtime:

Monday Night…Crafts!

We had a crafty playdate with Jenn and Addy tonight.  On the docket:  personalized garland.  It’s super cute if I do say so myself — a mix of fun holiday papers, photos, a bit of hand-coloring by Sophia and a little bit of sparkle.  It was an easy, inexpensive craft…and a good way to use snapshots you’ve got laying around.  Hard to capture it’s cuteness out of context, but here’s a sneak peak…can’t wait to see how it looks on the tree!

Sophia and Addy did their own craft, thanks to Jenn.  Why not thanks to me?  Well, because I probably wouldn’t have bought the non-washable adult craft paints.  But, hey, they had fun and the mess wasn’t too bad.  And, yes, that is a blob of red paint on Sophia’s upper lip.  I thought she was trying to eat the paint at first, but it ended up that she was smelling it.  Yes, you read that right…she was sniffing paint at Jenn’s house.  Sigh…

Her own sense of style

Oh, the babies

I was cleaning up the living room tonight and took all of Sophia’s babies into her room and placed them nicely in her new beanbag chair.  Minutes later, I hear the pitter patter of little feet and turn to see Sophia running out of her room, four dolls balancing precariously in her arms.  She ran to the living room chair and not-so-gently tossed them down, a look of pride on her face.  Oh, to have video of that…

Before I knew it, she’d made a few more trips to her room and got herself and her children situated:

She is an attentive mother of multiples, although the doll on her lap is the only one to get fed these days because she’s the only one who goes potty and cries simultaneously!

Friday Night ‘Rows and a shout-out to Darcy’s Botanicals

We had a nice, quiet evening at home tonight, playing with toys, watching the end of Shrek 3 and putting some new braids in Sophia’s hair.  I love these kinds of nights!

Sophia had been sporting some flat twists back to a pony — an easy and cute style that lasted several days longer than I thought it would.  You can see the twists here…and check out the concentration she’s giving to her new Tag book!

I’d been taking her ponytail out daily, combing it through and adding some Peach Kernel Hydrating Milk from Darcy’s Botanicals, a recent addition to our arsenal. What a wonderful product!!  It smells great and Sophia’s hair has never seemed softer or more well-hydrated.  When I took her twists out tonight, her hair was looking so great that I opted to simply spritz it down with plain water and comb it through (a very easy comb through due to the hydrating milk).  There was no product residue or dryness, so I opted to skip a full wash/condition and go right into a new style.  After detangling, I added in another new product that I recently got from the Darcy line — Organic Coconut & Aloe Moisture Pudding.  The product description says: “moisture, conditioning, softness, and control for your locs, twists, braids, afro, curls and waves.”  Um, hello?! What else do you need?  It’s got a nice, light smell and blended into her hair very nicely.  It’s the first time I’ve used it, but I was amazed by how fantastic her hair felt as I worked with it. 

I did a full head of cornrows — by the time I start on the 2nd half, I usually have to re-spritz her hair and do a little more detangling.  Not tonight!  Her hair was still slightly damp and so unbelievably soft!  I added a little Paul Mitchell Foaming Pomade to her hair line to help control the fuzzies and here’s the end result:

I really love the Darcy’s Botanicals products we’ve tried so far.  They are easy to work with, smell great and, most importantly, really seem to work well on Sophia’s hair!  I was out of the Madagascar Vanilla Styling Creme sample I’d been loving, so I placed an order and got more plus the two products I mentioned above.  So far, so great!!  And it’s worth noting the fantastic customer service and extra touches you get from Darcy’s (if you research Darcy’s, you’ll see that others note the same things) – super fast shipping, scented petals in the shipping box and a free sample of a new product!  (This is not a paid advertisement, by the way…I’m just a happy customer!)

After all that work, Sophia was ready to turn the tides.  First she combed my hair (which she loves to do) and then, just as I would do, she turned the camera on me:

That’s my girl!

Two-year checkup

Sophia had her two-year check-up this morning.  While I dreaded the shots on her behalf, I was primarily looking forward to the visit to (a) show off her skills to Dr. Brian and (b) see where she’s ranking on the growth charts.  The results are in, some suprising, others not:  she’s remarkably smart (not a surprise), she’s in roughly the 40th percentile for both height and weight (surprising, as in my mind she’s grown a ton and is both tall and heavy) and she’s in >97th percentile for head circumference (totally blown away by this one…I mean, really?)!  Her stats:

• Weight:  25.7 lbs (39th percentile)
• Height:  33.4″  (41st percentile)
• Head circumference: >97th percentile, although the nurse did put the tape measure over her braid and not under, which leads me to think she’s really at the 97th percentile vs. the >97th!

Both Dr. Brian and the resident lauded Sophia’s development, particularly in language and comprehension.  She even showed off a little Spanish, sang the ABCs and randomly identified a few letters just for good measure.  The resident told her she was “smart and cute,” and Dr. Brian asked if I did her cute hair by myself, mentioning that he’s been needing to do his 3-year-old daughter’s hair.  I pointed him toward YouTube as a resource, and suggested he stick with a basic ponytail to start, but that, with practice, he could eventually mimic Soph’s style (flat twists back to a pony, with a tiny cornrow of bangs).  He just laughed and said his main hope was to get her hairbow in securely.

The shots were, as predicted, a pain, but thankfully short-lived.  The visit was pleasant and, thanks to my witty banter and Sophia’s singing, mildly entertaining.  Two additional things resonated:  first, Soph got her measurements taken on the big-person scale, not the baby one.  And, second, the next well-child check isn’t for a year!  In retrospect, the only thing I didn’t ask for that I secretly wish I would have is the resident’s phone number, as, like Sophia, he was cute and smart (and sans wedding band).  But, since that seemed inappropriate, I opted against it.  Damn ethics.

 

This video would be even cuter if mommy didn’t talk so much

Clearly I need to try harder to not narrate video footage…super annoying!  The clip is cute regardless, though — what’s most interesting is that you can hear snippets of both counting and ABCs in Spanish.  Oh, and you can see Sophia reading to Nell, who hung out with us for awhile tonight.

Build a (birthday) puppy

Part of Sophia’s birthday fun was going to Build-a-Bear for the first time.  We followed the typical routine. 

After browsing the selections, she choose a brown cuddly puppy:

We brought the puppy over to friendly worker and Sophia picked out a heart:

The worker “fed the puppy” and Sophia helped by stepping on the pedal:

When the puppy was done eating, Sophia put its heart inside:

Sophia proudly walked out of the store with her yet-to-be-named puppy.  (Every time I suggest a name, she responds, “No…it’s puppy.”)

It was a sweet moment that I’d been looking forward to and that Sophia thoroughly enjoyed!  We’ve already had lots of puppy play and snuggle time, so despite his nameless status, he was obviously a good choice!

Two years ago today

The inevitable reminiscent post.  I can’t help it. 

Two years ago today I first held in my arms a tiny little baby — just over 6 lbs., a head full of dark hair, soft mocha-colored skin, tiny, pristine fingers and sleepy eyes.  She was a quiet, calm little thing and holding her warmed me all over, calming my own restlessness.  I remember certain details exactly; other things are a blur.  I remember looking into her eyes for the first time and thinking, no, knowing that in finding Sophia I’d found myself.  Today I pat myself on the back for being so diligent about writing down as many things as I could when I returned to the hotel from a day at the hospital.  I’m also glad I’ve kept this blog as a record of the growth, development, hairstyles and milestones that Sophia’s experienced during the past two years.  I am grateful for my journals and written ramblings and hope Sophia will one day treasure them as I do.

I know that it won’t be long before those journals will become a way of helping Sophia understand adoption and how she came to be my daughter.  They already are a tool for me; something I rely on to keep the details fresh in mind, ensuring that when I talk to Sophia I’m speaking only truths.  The older she gets and the smarter I realize she is, the more I know that now’s the time to start those conversations.  Adoption certainly isn’t the whole of our identities, but it’s a part of it — for her, as an adopted child and, for me, as an adoptive mother.  And it’s an important part, one that my research and, more importantly, my maternal instincts say shouldn’t be ignored.  So, today, as I’ve done in the past, I took the photo of Sophia and her birthmom down from the wall above her bed and we sat on the floor looking at the picture and talking about it.  Sophia held the frame and smiled at the picture, poignantly hugging it when she was done. 

It’s clear, I’m sure, that my thoughts are split today.  They are, of course, with Sophia – we spent the day together celebrating her special milestone.  She is 2 after all!  She was bright-eyed and full of smiles and laughs.  We enjoyed a special moment at Build-A-Bear, and many subsequent special moments playing with the puppy she chose.  We went out to lunch, we played with her new birthday toys and read her new birthday books.  It was, in a word, awesome. But, simultaneously, my thoughts are with Sophia’s birthmother…wondering about her wellbeing, especially on this day.   Wondering and hoping that she’s OK and has found as much peace as is possible.  And, hoping that the letter and pictures I sent a few weeks ago brought her something happy (be it solace or joy or even just a hint of a smile)…hoping that she could see through my words and photos just what a remarkable child Sophia is.  I also hope that she draws the same conclusion that I have: That Sophia is an undeniably perfect mix of nature and nurture, of biology and environment.  That she is perfectly Sophia, a child who’s loved by many, most notably by both of her mothers.